8.26.2004

sometimes i think the habits of your life are like heartbeats.
pulsating slowly at first and then faster and faster until it becomes a part of who you are, your being.
take writing for instance. you don't just go from being a complete non-writer to suddenly creating extensive thoughtful prose. it takes time.
i write on here sporadically. my society tells me i should feel bad for the things that i plan on doing but never accomplish.
it appears your better off not hoping to do anything at all so you're not let down when you fail to follow through.
i think that's a crock o' shit really.
how else can we become what it is we dream off if we don't venture to dream a little.
so create a weblog. a space where only i write.
a connection to this vast world around me that is my own.
no censors here. what i feel like writing about is what is written.
no deadlines, no proofreaders.
and i enjoy it.
but for some reason i'll stop for extended periods of time. nearly forget about this space entirely.
and then i return.
i look for an outlet in my life that allows me to share my perspective with others.
and that's what i'm learning as a writer. that ultimately it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about the words you write.
you were never really writing for them in the first place.
so there's some brain droppings for you.
maybe the beat of this aspect of my life will slowly increase.
as i'm exposed to more ideas, more ways of life, i'll be able to understand things just a little bit better.
so yes.

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